Hayley Joel Osment

Habeas corpus! Now I know why justice is blind

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y - Has anyone out there seen the film “Secondhand Lions”? It starred Robert Duvall, Michael Caine, Haley Joel Osment and Kyra Sedgwick sporting a Southern accent that probably was the prototype for her honeyed drawl as Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson on TVs “The Closer.”

I ask not because it was a great film but because it’s what was playing in the central jury room when I reported for jury duty this week, and I was called out with a group of other prospective jurors before I got to see how it ended.

The G-rated film apparently is in heavy rotation in the central jury room. One of the lawyers, noting it also had been shown the day before, expressed his heartfelt apologies to anyone who was reporting for a second day and was forced to sit through it again.

Bad as it was, though, it was nowhere near as torturous as being forced to sit through “Let’s Make a Deal,” which was tuned in before the DVD was switched on. Rather an apropos choice, doncha think, considering the amount of plea bargaining that goes on these days?

The last time I found myself watching the Wayne Brady-hosted “Let’s Make a Deal” was several weeks back while waiting to be escorted in for a colonoscopy. Not having seen a daytime TV quiz show in years, I’d forgotten just how willing people were to debase themselves for a chance at a new car, or even 50 bucks.

I remember thinking maybe the medical group had it on so patients would feel less embarrassed sitting around naked under two hospital gowns opening in opposite directions, because you certainly couldn’t look any more ridiculous than the squealing adults on “Let’s Make a Deal” decked out as babies, pirates and hookers.

But after being subjected to it again at 126 Stuyvesant Pl. this week, I think the real reason to make anyone watch it is so they’ll do anything to get out of watching it, from getting a colonoscopy to serving on a jury.

You could almost hear those who hadn’t the foresight to bring reading material with them fairly begging, “Put me on a jury, please! Any jury; I don’t care. Sequester me. Put me up in a fleabag motel, but please, please, don’t force me to watch “Let’s Make a Deal”!

Haley Joel Osment Learns 'F' Word in Preparation for Upcoming ...

He's taking a leave of absence from New York University, where he's double-majoring in fine arts and Middle Eastern studies.

"I initially considered trying to do my academic classes during the day and the play at night, but it's probably not a good idea to mix those things at the same time," he told The Post. "It's my first time out, so I'm sure I'll be putting in a lot more hours in the theater than I would on a film set."

Not only that, young Osment, but you potentially just joined charter member Stephen Dorff in the Jeremy Piven Adversary Club, named in honor of the actor making his own Broadway bow this fall in the Mamet revival Speed the Plow . But no worries! Just remember the convenient Piven-bathroom-fight mnemonic, "Back of the line, I'm doing fine. Cut to the john, it's on," and you'll make influential new friends in no time.

Walker told Hayley Joel Osment he has aids.

I forgot that Hayley Joel Osment was in Forrest Gump.

can't remember if it was freddie highmore or hayley joel osment.. but one of them had brown (cont)

Bogus

Richard Yates

Sometimes Haley Joel Osment leaned forward from the backseat and answered a ... Haley Joel Osment read his poetry to about forty people and met Julia and ...

A.I. artificial intelligence

Screen world, 2004 film annual

Haley Joel Osment SECONDHAND LIONS (NEW LlNE ClNEMAl Producers, David Kirschner, Scott Ross, Corey Sienega; Executive Producers, Toby Emmerich, Mark Kaufman ...

On the Aisle, Film Reviews by Philip Morency

It stars Michael Caine, Robert Duvall, and Haley Joel Osment. Haley Joel Osment plays Walter, a 14-year old boy who is dumped by his mother onto his two ...